Is the honeymoon stage over yet?
As a first year teacher, you get asked many questions.
From simple ones such as, “How’s it going so far?” to the more judgmental questions like, “Which teaching program did you go through?”
Most of those questions end after one, two, maaybe three times depending on how often you see people outside of your department.
But there’s one question that sticks out to me the most.
It seems sincere, but its overall nature is menacing.
And that question is: “Is the honeymoon stage over yet?”
The “honeymoon stage” in education has a few different meanings.
There’s the student’s honeymoon stage:
This is the stage where they act wonderfully for a few weeks as they scope you out, but eventually turn into gremlins.
There’s the career teacher’s honeymoon stage:
This is the stage that apparently doesn’t exist for most teachers in this day and age, but some of them still come into the school year feeling positive and excited.
Then there’s the new teacher’s honeymoon stage:
This is the stage where you’re secretly viewed as naive for being positive, excited, and filled with hope about the impact that you’ll make within the classroom.
IF the career teacher has a honeymoon stage at the start of the school year, they tend to lose it within the first week or two.
First they’ll slyly mention how the honeymoon stage with students doesn’t exist anymore. Then, they’ll begin to ask you, “Is the honeymoon stage over yet?”
It sounds harmless, right?
But the undertone of this question is, “Have you come to your senses yet? The kids are terrible, right?
I’m sure you’ve noticed this by now.”
I remember hearing a teacher say that she enjoys teaching high school because the students are just on their phones and don’t bother you.
How sad is that?
I never thought that I would become a teacher.
Literally, never.
I was the student who was intelligent but HATED school.
There was just so much talking, I couldn’t stand it.
I would talk as well, and I’m sure many of you know how that goes.
Demerits, detention, etc etc.
One time I got suspended and I’m pretty sure it was because I had too many tardies…and it was always for the same class.
The one where the teacher marks you tardy if you’re not sitting in your seat when the bell rang.
I would think, “Dude, I’m literally in the classroom. This is so stupid.”
So how in the world did I end up here??
My career has never been in education, but I’ve been involved for many years.
From volunteering as an EL tutor for refugee children, to being a paraprofessional at prestigious private schools. I just love to help guide future generations.
I’ve always dreamt of using my skills as a way to give back, but I was never sure how.
To give you a bit of background, I’ve spent the majority of my adult life working in high-end restaurants, bakeries, and coffee shops.
12 years in the hospitality industry is great, but there aren’t many programs geared towards teaching kids those skills — that is, unless you’re a small business owner hosting cooking classes, or a part of a larger organization that hosts classes as a part of their weekly/monthly programming.
I genuinely love the hospitality industry, and I’ll speak more about that in another post, but the nature of the industry kept me isolated from who I wanted to impact most.
Now, I have the best of both worlds.
I get to teach Culinary Arts to high school students who are on their last leg of secondary education.
Some may go to college, some may go straight into the workforce, and some may do neither.
I have no idea where life will take them.
What I do know is that life brought them to me.
They could be have chosen different electives, enrolled in a different school, lived in a different city, or any number of circumstances that would keep them out of my classroom.
But instead, they’re here with me for 20 weeks.
For 20 weeks I get to teach them, encourage them, challenge them, and call them out on their limiting beliefs.
My students are not perfect by any means, but there is no earth-shattering moment where the honeymoon phase ends and I finally view them “for what they are” and begin to despise their presence.
They’re learning, and I feel like we forget that.
In every area of their life, they’re either learning healthy habits or poor ones.
We as teachers hold just one area of influence in their lives, and sometimes, it’s the one that they truly, truly need.
Maybe instead of asking, “Is the honeymoon stage over yet?” we should be asking, “How do you stay engaged even when it gets hard?”
Because I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not let the “honeymoon stage” or lack thereof cloud my ability to use my influence well.
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